Significant Other

I am fully aware that there are multiple opinions about integration. I know there are some strong objections to the idea of taking this path in DID. I have also received some strong pushback about it. But this is not a discussion about whether or not integration is right or wrong, good or bad, this is simply an update about our experience after my bride made the choice to integrate. After 10 years of therapy and working toward integration (and actually successfully integrating), my bride decided to take a break from all that counseling. She was worn out, tired, just plain sick and tired of fighting, and our financial situation did not allow for more therapy. So she took a break. That break left her with certain deficiencies and unable to deal with the new life that presented itself to her. We had been warned by her then therapist that she needed continued treatment for at least “adjustment disorder” if not for PTSD and abuse recovery. DID therapy does not often address these...

Identity is an interesting thing. We all struggle with our identity somewhere. People will walk through life ‘knowing’ their identity to be a loser, fat, stupid, ugly, useless, crazy. Maybe their identity is steeped in being the best, a jock, cool or a class clown. In my experience, everyone has been saddled with an identity. If you are told that you are something long enough, that identity sticks, usually to our disadvantage. This is why I think it is most unfortunate that the health profession chose to change Multiple Personality Disorder to Dissociative IDENTITY Disorder. Think about it, if you have been diagnosed with DID, someone has successfully placed an identity on you. Your identity is “DID”. At least this is what I often see in people who struggle with this disorder. I must confess that my wife and I both have lived in this unhealthy perception of the state of things in our lives for too long. She and I both have lived in the perception that her true identity was...

Have you ever heard the term, “Just like riding a bike”? The meaning behind this expression is that once you have learned to ride a bike, you really never forget how.   As a musician, you may get rusty, but if you have ever learned to play an instrument, you will always remember how to play it. Or think about the last time a sound of a bird or the smell of food took you back to some place and time. This is the same concept with body memories from abuse. Your body, remembers everything from sounds, smells, touches, tastes and most significantly abuse. The memories are held in your body connected with some memory inside your mind. As a survivor of abuse, you, or your loved one may have been too young to remember certain things consciously, but the body still holds that memory. As someone with DID, you or your loved one, may have dissociated and so have no conscious memory of the event while your body does. Maybe a alter remembers but has locked it away in a deep dark cella...

In an ongoing agenda of the Hollywood making, we find movies which seem to serve only to trivialize the reality of some devastating issues in this world. For instance, “Eyes Wide Shut”, portraits the sick and twisted privileged world of power and lust acting out twisted fantasy. It’s real! ‘Split’ on the other hand portraits DID as a series of homicidal, psychotic episodes expressed through multiple personalities. Split is a total distortion of the truth. It’s no wonder that society has become so desensitized to the true nature of what might actually be going on around us. Movies, like the Jason Bourne series, the Manchurian Candidate and The Long Kiss Goodnight, make for great entertainment. But is that all they are? The main characters in these movies display something known as a psychogenic disorder called “Dissociative Fugue”. In each of these stories, a person was subjected to some type of programming that put them in an amnesic state. This state is characterized by...

The term trigger has grown in popularity over the past decade.   Initially, triggers were those things that would cause someone who had experienced some level of abuse or trauma, to be transported back to that place and to relive it as if it were in the present.   Today, in my opinion, too many people use the word ‘trigger’ and too many use it as an excuse to behave badly. I ran across this definition on the internet. “Emotional triggers are when you feel someone is not honoring what makes you special.”   I apologize if I make anyone angry here, but this sounds like Snowflake psychology.   People should not be able to kidnap a word and it’s meaning in this way; especially if it is something that is tied to such horrific and terrible experiences as those who suffer from DID or PTSD. What people have to realize is that triggers, legitimate triggers, can literally transport a person back to the place of greatest suffering. There is no ‘snapping out...

It is good to remind ourselves that the Christmas season is not just one of lights and joy, but also of darkness and corruption. For those who have  endure Ritual Abuse Christmas can be triggering, depressing and painful. Those in Satanic Cults observe holidays on : 12/21, 12/24, 12/25, and 12/31. These represent, Satanic and demon revels, Da Meur, and the Grand High Climax. Don’t enter this season glibly, but fortify yourself. If you are a Significant Other to someone with DID, you will want to be patient, kind, encouraging, loving and supportive during this time. Remind your loved one gently that what they are experiencing holds no real power over them any longer. _____________________ Here are some things to consider as you arm yourself for this holiday. 1. Minimize contact with dangerous people. Hopefully, you are no longer in contact to your loved one’s abuser, but….. if you are, make sure your spouse is never alone with them. If you are at their home for Christ...

When we talk about people who have Dissociative Identity Disorder as having “split”, it is not describing a Humpty Dumpty like experience, who broke into a million pieces, it is probably a little more like a mirror that lays broken on the ground, each piece reflecting the original, each piece shaped just a little differently. I realize that this is a simplistic view, but for our purposes, let’s go with it. When Humpty Dumpty fell and broke apart, all of his innards poured out, and there was nothing to be done. But when a mirror breaks you can bring all of the pieces back together and make one whole again. (Again, simplistic but let’s go with it) If you bring all of the pieces of a broken mirror back together, you will actually have one reflection again. It will still be cracked and the damage will still be visible but the image will be one. If you know anything about glass and mirrors, you know that to restore them back to their original state may be difficult. You may e...