Putting the pieces back together again

When we talk about people who have Dissociative Identity Disorder as having “split”, it is not describing a Humpty Dumpty like experience, who broke into a million pieces, it is probably a little more like a mirror that lays broken on the ground, each piece reflecting the original, each piece shaped just a little differently. I realize that this is a simplistic view, but for our purposes, let’s go with it.

When Humpty Dumpty fell and broke apart, all of his innards poured out, and there was nothing to be done. But when a mirror breaks you can bring all of the pieces back together and make one whole again. (Again, simplistic but let’s go with it)

If you bring all of the pieces of a broken mirror back together, you will actually have one reflection again. It will still be cracked and the damage will still be visible but the image will be one.

If you know anything about glass and mirrors, you know that to restore them back to their original state may be difficult. You may even need to just melt it all down with extreme heat and recreate the surface that reflects the whole. The other option is to glue it together and try as best you can to smooth out the cracks.

In any case, someone who is going through, or has gone through Integration is like a person trying to put the pieces together again. They are taking each shard, which reflects the person in some unique way and placing it carefully wherein the mirror to restore the whole image again. The cracks may remain, they may take some time to fix. Ultimately if done right, the process of healing can be painful and take time but unity will be the end result.

I can understand why many multiple systems want to avoid integration or decide to remain as multiples. Quite honestly, Integration is painful and scary enough to deter many.

If you or your loved one are on a path of integration, know that it could be the second most courageous thing you ever do. Putting the pieces back together again is a process. And it is not easy.

My wife lives an Integrated life, and still, some of the cracks are sharp, there are gaps that still need filling but she continues to work at it. As her spouse I need to continue to believe in her, encourage her and be her best support system. I can’t fix her, nor should I. I need to be available to come alongside her when she needs me.

My bride continues to work hard on gaining wholeness because she knows and is convinced that oneness is the way she was created and how she is meant to live her life. It was man’s wickedness which caused the split in the first place, it is wholeness that is hers to claim.  


She continues to be a hero in my book.


If you love someone with DID, check out my book, Loving Someone with DID

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