The Pandemic and DID

The pandemic with stay-at-home orders can be difficult for anyone. Articles are appearing all throughout the internet on how to cope with being at home.

There are multiple levels of difficulty at this time.

Single people who are feeling alone, Mothers who are dealing with their children 24/7; Unemployment, difficult marriage situations and so much more.

Add to it households where the virus is present.

And in our world of loving someone with DID, we may not really know what is going to happen until we are in the thick of it. None of what I am writing in this article is applicable to all individuals with DID, not are my thoughts conclusive nor prescriptive. I hope however that they are helpful.

 

Stop for a moment to consider what the possible feelings and thoughts are that come to the

forefront if you are DID.

Like many others, the fact that we are basically ‘trapped’ at home can lead to some very difficult feelings in someone with DID. The likelihood that they felt trapped as a child, stuck in their situation and abuse and unable to escape, is quite real. Being locked up like this can begin to bring some of those feeling up. This can result in random and frequent switching to deal with the situation.

I was reading about on Significant Other that was describing that while in quarantine, he and his loved one were stuck in two different States. What was happening was that some of her more angry parts were coming out and the conversations were quite difficult. And this can be very upsetting especially when separated by distance. On the other hand, this can happen right in your own home. The fear of being trapped, caged like a wild animal can have your loved one’s parts coming and going and you may become the target of rage and abuse.

While you need to care for and love your spouse and assure them that you understand, you also need to exercise self-care during these times. Go take a walk, hang out in your garage, read, play a game, do something for your health while you too are locked up and loving someone for whom this situation can be highly unnerving.

On the other hand, my wife’s response to the stay in your home order is one of a warm embrace. She is loving having me home. I usually work outside of the home and she teaches from home. So she is often alone as it is. Now that I am here all day, even though I am in my office making calls, she doesn’t feel alone. Her struggle will probably increase when everybody returns to their workplaces and she is left behind again.

One other thought that might be plaguing your loved one is the very real fear of contracting the virus. If they are listening to the news and some of the stories and the reality, they might grow in a fear of loss of control. If they get sick, they will have no control over their situation, and if they were to die, the fear that they will die alone is very real. And this is terrifying for anyone, let alone for someone who may have grown up with the terror of loneliness and abandonment.

On the other hand, a person who may have survived such terrible trauma and abuse and suffering from a very young age may become indignant at the world's response to the virus. Compared to their plight in life, the Covid may be very insignificant.

And bear this in mind. In general, your loved one with DID has come through such incredible suffering, and they have had to learn to get up and push forward anyway. They are heroes and mighty warriors. This means that they can thrive in times of utter chaos and stress. It may mean that one of their alters will come out to manage this tidal wave. And therein lies their strength.

I hope this is helpful.

As always remember that you can contact me at any time.

And if you are not familiar with my book yet, please check it out:

Loving Someone with DID