Dissociative Identity Disorder and Integration

Before we get going on this topic I want to say this; Integration can be a real hot button issue in the world of dissociates. There are those who swear by it and those who utterly reject it. Even therapists line up on either side of this debate.

I think that both have valid points and so I want to talk about these ideas. I would love to hear from you on this issue.

As I was doing my research about this topic I was greeted with great kindness by many DID friends and loved ones. I want them to know how thankful I am for their candor and their willingness to communicate with me.

A definition: “Integration” basically describes a person with DID who is going through the process of either absorbing or releasing all of their parts (alters).

There are those who believe that there is a core personality, the person they were before they split and the person they are to become once they have integrated. So, Integration brings all of a persons parts back into unity with that core self.

One thing that most everyone agrees on is that this process should not be forced. It should happen naturally and, if and when the parts are ready to be free.

Opinions:

In the early days of DID awareness, therapists thought Integration was the ONLY way to go about healing. Since that time, opinions have changed and led into alternate paths for healing. The most significant of these is learning to live in a healthy co-conscious state of the total system.

There are also those who even reject the idea of a core personality, sometimes based on “structural dissociation”, which sets forth the theory that infants develop a core self over time, but if that process is interrupted through a (or ongoing) traumatic experience, the person never has the opportunity to develop the core self and so all of the parts are equally relevant. (sorry for the run-on sentence)

There are those who see Integration as a form of violence. Some multiples believe that integration is actually killing the parts. What I also found, was that especially where I was communicating with alters of my dear DID friends, they were particularly fearful of Integration because it could mean their death by ceasing to exist.

Knowing that many of my friends have suffered terrible trauma and violence in their lives, I would never suggest introducing more violence in their lives by forcing them to Integrate.

There are also those who are religious and believe in a singular divine God. They believe that Integration returns them to be, who God made them to be. They believe that the split happened due to mans wickedness and Integrating all the parts is restoring things to their natural order.

There is another contingent who want to integrate because they know that they have some abusive, even dangerous parts (dangerous to themselves and toward others). While some systems are able to naturally integrate those parts, others just want to be done with the difficulties of having a jumbled life.

Another group feel that their alters are unique and individual spirits, or souls, or angels, or aliens. They cannot fathom Integration because each alter has the right to life.  

On yet another hand, I have connected with those who want their significant others to keep all of their parts. They like how each alter brings something to the relationship and are fearful that Integration would make much of that disappear.

The Table:

Now, if you have read my profile on this blog, you know that my wife chose the path of Integration. She did not force it, and her parts left when they were ready.

Her therapist walked her through the process using Fraser’s “Dissociative Table” technique. In this scenario, all of the parts come together, at a large table to discuss life and the possibility of relinquishing their pain and being set free.

The assumption is that each part carries a secret or a hidden pain. Each in turn finds a safe place to tell that secret and becomes free to be released into hope. In some counseling this imagery can take shape in that each part is redeemed and goes to be with God. It is not painful, it is in fact hopeful. Some of my wife’s alters hung around for a long time and did not want to go away. So she waited until they were ready, until they had found a voice to share their pain and their secret and could then go and be free.

After Integration:

So here is the big secret nobody tells you. Even if you embrace Integration, even if you believe it is the best way to treat DID, INTEGRATION IS NOT THE END.

What we have discovered is that there are still steps left after Integration.

PTSD: If the dissociation happened because of a traumatic situation, then the Integrated person still needs to deal with that.

Abuse: Often times dissociation happens because of sexual abuse. After Integration the multiple will still have to work through this reality.

Becoming an adult: Many of the alters may have been created when the dissociate was quite young. This means that in some areas of life the Integrated person now has to learn adult coping skills. It was the job of certain alters to be adult while others could remain very young. Now the multiple is responsible for it all.

Continued Dissociation:

Dissociation is a coping mechanism which will probably continue after Integration. This does not mean that they create new parts, it simply means that if something happens that they don’t possess a coping mechanism for, they will dissociate for the moment.

Conclusion:

From my observation over the past 25 years, DID is something that takes a lifetime of learning to manage and cope with. Weather by integration or developing a fully functioning system, it takes work.

My hope is that the DID community can allow for everyone to have their opinion in this area. No one should force you to believe one way or another. No one can tell you that one method is correct and others are not. At this point, while even the “experts” differ in their methods, DID’s should be accepting and caring because life has been difficult enough.