Helping your Loved one through an Anxiety attack



*Disclaimer*
I am neither a licensed therapist nor a professional counselor. What I am offering here is something one therapist taught, which worked for my bride when she was heading into, or in the middle of a panic attack.

Many people in our world today experience anxiety attacks. I have experienced a couple of very mild ones myself. However, people with DID or PTSD and other Psychological disorders may experience them more frequently or more intently.


An anxiety attack feels like a sudden surge of overwhelming panic; It feels like you are losing control or going crazy; It causes heart palpitations and/or chest pain and possibly a loss of consciousness.

This moment where your partner needs someone with a steady and calm voice to guide them back out. They need you, above all to be grounded. Don’t try to figure out where the panic came from, don’t try to fix it, but in a calm voice, get your partners attention. Their eyes may be darting back and forth and they may look like they have become a caged animal. Calmly ask your loved one to close her eyes, and wait until she is able to. Now, ask her to imagine that she is on an airplane while continuing to speak calmly. Once she is there, ask her where the plane is. Is it in the air? Is it on the runway? Where is it?


She will instinctively know where her plane is. If the airplane is flying at an altitude of 30,000 feet, you know it’s extreme. Sometimes they feel like the airplane has not left the ground yet. No matter where the plane is, your goal is to help her land it and get it back into the hanger.  

Calmly encourage your partner to take control of the airplane. She can’t land it if she is cowering in a corner of the plane. While speaking calmly, hold her hand, and patiently guiding her. If the airplane is in the air ask her (don’t tell her) if she is ready to begin a descent. If she is not ready yet, don’t push. If she is in the air encourage her to begin circling the airport a few more times and ask her again if she is ready to move to the next step. If she is not, circle the airport a few more times (all of this needs to happen at her pace).

Help her to begin her ascent a little at a time, from 30,000 feet to 20,000, to 10,000 and so on until your loved one is prepared to and land on the runway.
Once on the ground, we can help her taxi the plane back to the hanger.

If your loved one never left the ground, you may need to walk her through not taking off and then moving the plane back to the hanger.

Be liberal with your encouragement and praise all throughout this process. This is hard work for your loved one and she needs to be assured. 

Once your partner has successfully parked the airplane in the hanger, it is not over yet. She is still fragile and whatever it was that triggered her to put that airplane back on the runway in a second. Give her time to settle back into reality. Hold your loved one giving her a secure and safe place to reconnect with reality. You will know if and when this episode is over.


This method does not always work, and it may not work for everyone. Sometimes I found this method to only help my wife go from 30,000 ft to 10,000, and then she remained there for a while. Be patient and encourage your loved one, it is not easy work living in their world.

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